Being in here is hard enough without the added benefit of being ill! I have spent two miserable days suffering with a migraine with the added bonus of a virus thrown in for good measure. I have been unable now for almost a week to do anything but sleep unable to keep my eyes open and fighting just to stay awake. I was really scared it might be due to my thyroid as I was on thyroxin when I came in but stopped taking it as it was thought the low levels were due to my low weight. The doctor has tested it but as I have an appointment with the endocrinologist in two weeks time she has said she will leave it up to him. So I have no idea if she found something or not I only hope my inability to stay awake is down to the virus.
I have been on 15 minute observations following a faint on Thursday evening and closely monitered by the doctors since taking sumatriptan yesterday as it can have interaction with another medication I take that can cause serotonin syndrome which apparently can be fatal!! Great but at least it stopped my head pounding.
I woke up today still feeling off colour my head feels sore and my eyes are still not quite right and generally I feel achy and a bit queasy, however I am due to go on leave at 6pm today till 12pm tomorrow in order for Ben and I to go to the cinema to see les Mis I am so excited I have already booked the tickets and now there is a chance I won't be allowed to go.
I won't be allowed to go unless the doctor thinks I am well enough and have had my observation level reduced back down from 2 to 1. Fingers crossed they are not coming till later this afternoon so I hope I will be feeling better and given the go ahead.
It sounds daft to be so excited to be going to the cinema in an evening but Ben and I haven't been able to do this for years because of my eating routine and binge purge cycle so it is just another bonus to recovery and so not been able to go will be so disappointing.
The only down side to leave today is that Ben is not feeling well either as he has a cold so we might have to sleep separately to reduce the risk of me catching it, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I am slightly nervous about having a snack at the cinema especially as on Thursday I had another weight jump which completely freaked me out especially as I had spent the week feeling that my body had changed dramatically. I revisited my body map (where you draw what you think you look like and then they draw round you) with one of the nurses and re did it there was some change but the nurse said it wasn't visible just by looking at me, however to me it was a huge difference and that was in two weeks so I am terrified how much it will change in several kg's time. I am going to do some body image relaxation work this afternoon though which I really hope I find helpful because I am finding it increasingly difficult being in my own skin.
Anyway enough with staring at this screen as its making my eyes hurt even more and I need to keep my eyes relaxed ready to focus on les mis :-)
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so unwell. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you can manage the cinema later, but don't beat yourself up if you can't - there will be other times that you can go. I'm really glad you're getting some help with body image, and I hope that you find it easier to be within your own skin soon. Keep on fighting m'love xxx
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