Wednesday, 23 January 2013

You've clearly put on weight!!

Amazing!! This was the opening remark of the endocrinologist that I saw yesterday followed by him asking how it made me feel (and there was me thinking I was there to discuss hormones not have a therapy session) that aside I calmly commented "not too bad until people point it out!" Thankfully he substantiated the comment by informing me that it wasn't that I looked particularly different but that he had the letter from the doctor at the unit stating my bmi when I was admitted and what it is now. I would like to say that this made it ok but for the first five minutes of the appointment I don't think I was really listening as all I could hear was oh my god your huge. He did say that he could tell I was better in my voice that I had more life and at my last appointment I seemed very weak, fair comment really as I saw him five days prior to my admission.

Anyway the appointment went ok and I managed to get some slight reassurance that there was no indication i was going through the early menopause although he did point out that my body had put me in a temporary menopause but that it was my body's way of clinging on to life and that it would change with weight gain. He did put me back on the thyroxin as the blood tests still indicate that I have hypothyroidism. I am happy with this as a side effect of this is that the bodily systems slow down so metabolism is slower which can cause weight gain, this therefore may go a little of the way to explain my quick and unpredictable weight gain and so I am hoping that with the new drug it might help to speed it up slightly which will then allow me to have a more normal diet but we will see.

As for my diet I am really unsure what to do, I had another big jump Monday and then lost a very tiny amount today. It scares me because I think I must have too much when I'm on leave as I always seem to have a big jump on a Monday when I have been at home. I really want to be able to eat more normal size meals and I don't know whether to just bite the bullet and increase from introductory size to normal size for one of the meals per day in order to test the dieticians theory that the reason my weight is doing as it is is because there is still not enough in my diet and that's why my body is still taking everything from the food.
Hopefully the dietician will be in today to talk this through but I am so terrified, if I can get a big jump just from changing to higher calorie snacks I hate to think how much it will go up if I change my meal size.

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