Oh dear! I can't believe what this ridiculous illness drove me to this morning. I measure my cereal in a cup for breakfast and today I measured it three times in to the cup and then the bowl and back again still not happy I proceeded to wake Ben up to ask him if all I had was a cup full of cereal, even though I could clearly see that's what I had in my hand I knew that if I didn't ask I would be convinced I had more than that and I would then need to vomit to get rid of it!!! Not the greatest of starts to the day but at least the remainder of my leave went ok.
Ben and I along with my parents went bowling Saturday afternoon which was fun. I managed dinner at home which went ok even though I only brought a wrap ready made and had it with some salad but the challenge was actually venturing in to asda to do a small amount of shopping and picking it and something to have for snacks. I have to be honest the whole experience was so stressful and left me feeling really anxious. However dinner done Ben and I got a taxi to the glee club in Birmingham, somewhere neither of us had been before, we had a really good time and I even managed a couple of vodka and diet cokes even more amazing was I completely resisted picking at the nachos with melted cheese and salsa that Ben had despite the fact they looked so good and I really wanted some, I knew though if I had some I would freak and make myself sick, maybe in time I will be more able to challenge myself but I'm not there yet.
I realised two things on our night out the first being I'm to old to go in Sobar, I was shocked not getting id'd until we went in and I realised that everyone in there was about 12!! The second thing I realised was once Ben has drunk a bottle of wine he descovers he has a death wish!! I witnessed this when waiting for the taxi and two black men in a car went past shouting what I believe was "wog won bitch!!" at us and Ben proceeded to walk towards the car (which was stopped at the traffic lights) when I stopped him I was asked if he could please could he what I said and he replied give them a grammar lesson!!!! See death wish!!
Oh well we surprisingly made it in to the taxi without Ben getting us killed and as I had only had a couple of drinks and thought maybe not had enough calorie wise I even managed to eat a bar of chocolate, a minor freak out followed but I was in a car I couldn't really do much and by the time we got home I was so tired we went to bed and therefore i couldn't think about it.
So now I'm back at hospital and the snow is still falling not really sure what will happen tomorrow night as I have been granted leave on a Monday evening for a couple of hours in order to go to choir but because I have a dentist appointment Tuesday at 10am I have asked if I can stay at home but at this rate I will be snowed in and not going anywhere, great!! Will have to see in the morning along with the dreaded weigh in which is scaring the hell out of me as I have done what I set out to do and challenged one snack to be over 200 calories everyday since last Monday and even been to the vending machine twice. I hope above hope it hasn't done much so at least I know I can pick different things without it having a huge effect on my weight but we'll see.