Finally took a tentative step last week by finally going from introductory portions at lunch to normal portions. I started last Thursday as it was sandwiches at lunch I could just have a packet of crisps to make it a normal portion I also thought it would be easier at lunch as I could just do the same on my leave at the weekend. Thursday went ok but Friday lunch was a cooked meal of fish goujons, mash and veg and when it came it really freaked me out as it was huge plus the fish was battered and not breaded as it had stated on the menu and it took me several attempts to make a start, however I did get through it with support and reassurance from staff.
I was lucky to get any support as to be honest the ward has been a crazy place over the last couple of weeks and there have not been enough staff members to give the support and help to all the patients particularly as one patient is on two to one obs and constantly sets the alarms off. The staff have mostly been with this patient leaving the rest of us feeling completely unimportant and unsupported. We raised the issue in community meeting but the staff nurse said she was sorry and understood I politely pointed out I didn't want an apology and false platitudes what I wanted was an answer as to what they were doing to rectify the situation, but as per usual we were told they would raise our comments and concerns with management, wonderful!! Luckily we have all been really supportive of each other.
So I went on leave again from Friday till Monday this week as I was at the dentist yesterday morning. It was far more successful than the last two weeks and I really tried to have more routine with my eating meaning that I didn't leave massive gaps between meals and snacks and had them at more regular intervals in the hope this would prevent hunger kicking in causing me to pick on food and then purge it. On a whole it went ok a few wobbles and panics but ok.
Can't believe its ward round again already I have asked for Friday day as well as usual weekend leave this week as its my sisters birthday and I wanted to take her shopping and to the cinema fingers crossed I will get it and that I have another reasonable weekend.